Monday, April 26, 2010

You need to read this

I come to you today with something very important to share. What I am about to show you might change your life. So if you aren't prepared for something so drastic, please avert your eyes.

I present to you: the weirdest looking fish ever.


Ohai! I iz a cowfish.



My flesh is poisonous! I kiss you!



I have weird horns so you can't swallow me!


We spotted this thing in an aquarium in a bar downtown last night. It left big smooch marks on the side of the tank in the algae. After asking the bartender what kind of fish it was, I began researching it. I learned that if you stress the fish too much, it will release a poison that can kill all of the other fish in the tank.

Also, if you look closely, you'll see it has some kind of leg-like limbs sticking out of the back of its body... almost like it started to evolve but then was like, "Wait. You know what? Being a fish is cool. Nevermind."

That's all for now. Thanks for your vegetarian recipe/cookbook suggestions! We're going to order one soon.

15 comments:

jiveturkey said...

Vegetarian cookbooks never seemed like a better idea than they do at the end of this post.

(But I admit: he's kind of cute. He is one tiny fish-udder away from being completely adorable.)

Hillary said...

so did you try to stress the fish so it would kill all the other fish?

Mermanda said...

Hillary, no! But the bartender did show us a trick. If you hold a glass up to the tank and slowly move it across, the fish swims after the light it reflects.

Brad said...

Hillary, I REALLY wanted to try and stress it out. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY did. No one would let me.

Dwight said...

Cute. It looks like it is perpetually whistling! I like. :)

Romantic Comedee said...

I kinda wanna squeeze it...but that would make it kill me I think. It's so cute!

sleepyjane said...

That's pretty awesome. :)

My dad is all about fish at the moment - I'll have to show him this post.

Mel Heth said...

Mr. Wonderful had a fish like that when I met him. I LOVED that fish. He would swim over and watch me whenever I looked into the tank - literally following me if I walked back and forth. I called him Baby Kitty Fish. Then he died...maybe he self-poisoned.

Laurnie said...

HAHA! Im new to your blog, and this story kinda cracked me up :) I love the way you write, so happy to start reading more!

Heidi said...

Did you know that fish will also follow laser pointers? Yep...they're not nearly as entertaining as cats, but since they only have a memory of about 2 seconds, they become reinterested in it pretty quickly.
Also, you might want to check out Rachael Ray's book Veggie Meals. Or just browse some recipe websites. Or...just start making stuff up...sans meat. That's usually what I do.

Simply.Addicting said...

Was the little fishy by itself?Now, that fish sounds like my mom. Don't tick me off or BOOM!

angela said...

I love him.

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i love love said...

i'd say the fish is cute..and i would a grilled cheese sandwich please..hehe
- the mom wannabe

Nancy said...

Oh, aren't I glad that for want of any better way to keep procrastinating what I should really be doing, I started clicking "next blog." You are a funny girl. I especially liked the fish starting to evolve and then saying nevermind. Nice.