Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thanks, I've had enough Thursday... can we please move on?

You know those tiny little things that happen to you now and then that make you momentarily frowny? Like when you have to pee all morning, finally have a chance to run to the office bathroom when the second you sit on the toilet the janitor begins violently knocking on the door? WHY ARE YOU INTERRUPTING ME? CAN A PERSON PLEASE PEE IN PEACE?!

Or when you are beyond ready for lunch and go to the office kitchen only to find that the microwave hog is microwaving his frozen dinner on the setting that takes 15 minutes? How is the universe so precise that no matter what time I want to eat my lunch, this guy is monkeying around with the microwave? Hungry at noon? Hello, microwave hog. 12:30 sound good? MICROWAVE HOG. Holding out for 1:00? It doesn't matter. He knows. And he's in ur microwaves delayin' ur noms.

Or when you are driving down an otherwise vacant street, when a pedestrian decides to step on to the road RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR CAR without even so much as thinking about looking before crossing the street. You ever kill a guy on your way to work? It's not a good way to start the morning. (Just kidding, he's fine. For now. Survival of the fittest says he is living on borrowed time.)

That is just a taste of my Thursday. And I wish to spit it out. And get the bad taste out of my mouth with some chocolate. And gold. And ponies. (Kidding. I hate ponies.)

15 comments:

elledee said...

"And he's in ur microwaves delayin' ur noms."

love.

jiveturkey said...

I would also like to return my Thursday for a full refund. DOWN WITH THIS THURSDAY.

(Except Thursday night television. It can stay.)

Jane said...

You hate ponies?

I hate it when *anyone* bothers me in the bathroom. There's always someone who wants to have a conversation (there are multiple stalls). This is PRIVATE TIME people. Leave me alone!

Dwight said...

Gold foil-wrapped chocolate pony, anyone?

Mel Heth said...

These kinds of people (the micro-hogs and wandering pedestrians) need to be rounded up and put on an island.

I had a kid ride his bike INTO the side of my car recently. Scared me so bad I didn't get mad...until I got home and saw the hole he put in my bumper with his pedal. Curses pedestrians! Curses!

Sarah said...

well you know what this means? Friday is going to be awesome!

Just Fine Just Dandy said...

Would the microwave hog also happen to be the nail clipping guy? If so, that's just too much.

Friday night, have a few adult beverages.

Sarah said...

you are snarky today lady, love it!

Hillary said...

you should probably stab someone

Marcy said...

Bad Thursday = Brownies on Friday!

Toe said...

You eat gold? Like how Donna Reed eats dollar bills?

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

"JUST A TASTE AND I WANT OT SPIT IT OUT" ok, totally stealing that line, haha

Ben said...

Thus far, all of November has made me frowny.

Steph said...

lol at the microwave dramaz. there is a lady in our office that ALWAYS has things that take at least 7 minutes, and I'm like what in the hell are you cooking?? a full turkey?? I don't have any microwave things that take longer than 5 minutes.

I'm started waiting until like 1:30 to make my lunch because the microwave is a hot commodity in our office.

instatick said...

People step out in front my car all the damn time and one of these days, I swear, I'm going to kill someone. I mean really, have these people just lost survival instincts? Or are they just suicidal?

Either way, I hate them all.