Monday, August 31, 2009

Be careful what you wish for...

Remember my little "101 Things in 1001 Days" list? Well, I'd like to have a serious chunk of items crossed off by the end of the year... and time flies. Oh, god. Flies. Excuse me a minute...

::insert sounds of Mermanda gagging::

Sorry about that. Sensitive subject. You see, last Friday I was at a local watering hole to see some friends perform their second gig with their new band. As I said, I wanted to cross some things off the list...



I ordered an extra dirty martini. And guys? IT WAS FILTHY. I took about ten tiny sips (because as it turns out, I don't particularly like martinis...) and began poking at my olives with a stirrer. I ate one olive and was about to hoist the next one down my gullet when I noticed something floating in my glass. No, wait. I noticed several somethings floating in my glass. No... wait. A LOT OF SOMETHINGS! That's when I held up my glass to the light and could finally make out the tiny wings. OH, no... excuse me....

::insert more gagging noises::

Ahem. Flies! There were AT LEAST ten flies in my glass! That will teach me for ordering a dirty drink. My goodness. That is the last time I order that sucker. Who knows how many little winged creatures I drank before I noticed ::shudder:: them in my glass? WHO KNOWS!?

Number 30, you are dead to me.

20 comments:

LovelyAnomaly said...

Ew! EW, ew, ew! That's disgusting...

jiveturkey said...

OH DEAR GOD. Please don't tell me the flies were on purpose. Like how in some places you'll order a steak well-done and they bring out a boot HAR HAR HAR.

I love dirty martinis and will now always be extra-vigilant that I do not accidentally receive a malaria-tini.

Sarah said...

ew that is disgusting, I am surprised you didn't puke

Jessica said...

this story makes me want to die. i'm actually horrified. :(

iartaday said...

oh my! well - it's a good thing you don't have to acutally like all of the things on your list! ew. on the other hand, i'm pretty sure that bar is to blame for being so filthy.

Lindsay said...

I just threw up in my mouth. That's so disgusting. I hope you got your money back for the drink.

Mermanda said...

Lindsay, The bartender asked if I wanted her to make me another one. UH.... NO! She gave me a beer on the house and didn't charge me for the flytini.

*~kristen~* said...

well, if you took 'ten tiny sips' as you said, i doubt you drank any of the little winged ones.... they were probably just...uh... marinating in your gin. it was probably the olive brine... flies are attracted to more than honey. :)

Elle Bee... said...

Ew yuck. I guess that's why it was "extra" dirty. *shudder*

instatick said...

Yep, I just threw up in my mouth. Gross!

Kim said...

That's really gross! But at least you gave it a try.

Arielle said...

That is both disgusting and sad. Disgusting for obvious reasons and sad because dirty martinis and usually delicious. Er..when there are no flies in them.

http://morethanamermaid.blogspot.com

ria said...

UGH! EW!

Dwight said...

Argh! Disgusting! That's why I never order dirty martinis. Plus that olive juice it takes up vital space from the vodka! (But thinking about it, I know maggots are used as bait, so it isn't too far of a stretch that a Mermaid would be attracted by adult flies.)

Tam said...

reason number 578 not to drink dirty martinis. No matter how cool you sound when you order it - mucky vodka, olives and FLIES are just not that classy.

This post made me gag a little.

Katelin said...

ummm that is oh so very disgusting. yikes.

Meghan said...

Ewwwwwww.

A Super Girl said...

I've never been a big fan of martinis either...until I discovered the fruity ones with pomegranate juice and all that good stuff. I can choke those down much easier :-)

alyssa said...

Ewwwwww!!!! That's just lovely.

sleepyjane said...

Oh ew! I went biking with a friend a few years back, and as she laughed out loud, with her mouth open, she caught a fly and it went right down her throat.

I know it wasn't funny, but the way she jumped off the bike and freaked out was.