Thursday, July 30, 2009

Come out little fella... I won't hurt you: Delurk!

Lately I have felt like the momentum of this blog has really taken a nose dive. So I was surprised to see that there are 500 of you reading this blog each week. Who are all of you people? Is it you, God?

There are a handful of new commenters around these here parts, and I'd like officially welcome you. Hi. Come on in. Watch out for that part of the rug... that's Luke's "pee spot." Yeah, you're going to want to leave your shoes on. Can I get you something to drink? Did you have anything to eat? I could whip you up a grilled cheese. Just say the word. It will only take five minutes. So don't worry about it. It's no trouble at all. Oh, I love your hair! Are you sure you don't want something to drink? I'm going to have something to drink. Do you like red or white wine? Oh, no... it's not to early to start drinking. It's almost 10 a.m.!

If you are just tuning in, there are a few things you should know in order to truly appreciate Cusp of Normal:


I am an apple-bobbing champion.


My fiance has many alter-egos. One of which resembles Popeye.


Sometimes I look like a creature.

My guilty pleasures include eating greasy fish soaked in malt vinegar at Long John Silver's, cutting coupons and forgetting to use them at the checkout, torturing Andrew with my mix CDs from my music pirating years at college (if you can't appreciate Dashboard Confessional's "Vindicated" from the Spiderman Soundtrack, just leave... NOW!), delighting in the piles of dust, dirt, and doghair I sweep up from the floor each week--carrying my full dustpan around like it is a trophy, and eating my weight in salt.

Tell me a little about you. ESPECIALLY you little creeps who read my blog and refuse to join in the fun via commenting. Who are you?! Were you allowed to watch 90210 in the early 90s? I wasn't. I wasn't even allowed to have the 90210 bedding from Kmart. My mom was very strict about that. Even though I told her it wasn't like Brenda and Dylan were going to pop out of the comforter and do scenes from the show in my bedroom. (But that would have been pretty cool, right?) Though one time I did bring home from a bookfair one of those doorknob hanger things that say something like "STAY OUT!" or "The princess is in" but this one in particular just had a picture of Dylan and Luke looking all fly and stuff. (*EDIT: I just realized Dylan = Luke. I meant to say Brandon and Dylan. Now you can see I was not bluffing about not being allowed to watch them. Though I do admit to watching it a few times at my friend's house. Man did I feel uncool back then. So out of the loop. What the heck is a Peach Pit?) My mom was not happy about that. Yet this is the same woman who raised me to watch The Young and the Restless and Ricki Lake. I don't get you, mom. But I love you. You nut.

Sorry, where were we? Oh, yes. You. Tell me about you. Delurk, if you will. I promise I won't bite. Okay, that's not entirely true. I can never promise that.

XOXO

40 comments:

Lexilooo said...

Vindicated is such a good song.

I wasn't allowed to watch 90210 either.

I always forget to use coupons!

My mother raised me on All My Children :)

XO, J said...

Ok - really? Cuz my mom let me watch anything...even if it would make me have nightmares...or maybe pee a little. I'm pretty sure I watched Candyman when I was 11 or 12 - how could 90210 be worse than Ricki Lake or Y&R anyway?

Megan said...

I'll second Lexiloo on Vindicated-- though I can't stand the emo singalong that is Dashboard's MTV Unplugged version.

I was allowed to watch 90210, and was so scandalized! I much preferred Wonder Years, mostly because of a huge crush I had on Fred Savage.

Hillary said...

I wasn't allowed to watch 90210 or Melrose Place or Party of Five or any of the trashy tv I really wanted to watch. I feel like I missed out on something great. Thanks a lot, Mom.

Lindsay said...

I was allowed to watch 90210. I was not allowed to watch Melrose Place because my mom thought it was more of a "soap opera" than 90210. She's a nut.

Mermanda said...

Lexilooo, I'm probably forcing the DJ to play Vindicated at our wedding. That's serious.

XO, J, One of my friends made me watch the Candyman when I was quite young too. Her mom didn't give a damn what we did--as long as we didn't leave the basement. Her mom had some serious OCD cleaning issues... and my poor friend wasn't even allowed in her own room after her mom ran the vacuum each morning.

Megan, I didn't even know there is a sing-along version! I'm sure it would annoy me also, though, so I'll keep living in ignorance.

Hillary, there is still time. I learned the other night that entire seasons of trashy 90s TV is available for free to subscribers on netflix. You can watch them on your computer whenever you want. It's probably what I'm going to do tonight. Make up for my lost childhood. (Wait... is not getting a chance to watch smutty TV as a kid a valid excuse for missing out on my childhood? Hm...)

Lindsay, Do we have the same mothers?

Tam said...

My mom raised me on Days of Our Lives. That show makes for horney toddlers.

I cried during the last episode of 90210 and now I'm obsessed with Tori and Dean Hollywood.

Good luck with the delurking - do you have a stalker from Bangkok too? I hate him btw, but I think I scared him off. Bye Thailand!

Did you know Riki Lake is skinny and cool now? Well, she is.

Also, isn't your wedding coming up?

Elle Bee... said...

I'll have a glass of red please. If you're into drinking at 10 a.m., we'll get along just fine.

Ahem.

I don't remember not being allowed to watch anything particular on TV, though I do remember the time my dad cut the plugs off of the TV cords because we were putting off our chores. My mom pulled out some electrician-style magic and put them back on so she didn't miss the finale of Lonesome Dove.

Gina said...

OK, I feel so old now, because when 90210 was on, I was well beyond being "allowed." OLD.

Hannah Ruth said...

I found you searching for mermaids and Mermanda came up!
Love Luke and your wit.
I clip coupons every Sunday, I print them off the computer, and leave them at home 99% of the time.
I was a very sheltered child, as our house only got CBS, so no 90210 for me. Ok, so maybe not so sheltered, but I still didn't get to see 90210.
I love the beach, the water, and the sun. Ok, I am starting to feel like some dating show video. I am going to stop and say if you wanna know more, check out my blog lol

Tia said...

Ok, I'll delurk :) I found you from Hillary.

I grew up in a household where Frosted Flakes or Trix was a perfectly acceptable breakfast, it was perfectly okay to watch TV at all hours of the day. So of course I watched 90210 and Melrose Place - with my mom.

Mermanda said...

Tam, Are you saying there was a time when Ricki Lake WASN'T cool? Because that's just not true. And my wedding is INSANELY soon. Which means I should really get those invitations in the mail, eh?

Elle Bee, Your parents sound like some kind of McGuiver duo. One fights for good (your mom) and one fights for evil (obviously your dad. only the truly evil would purposely dehabilitate (what is that not a word or something? Get that red squiggly line outta here) a precious television.

Gina, I didn't mean to make you feel old, weird, or otherwise. I'm sure you could tell us about the things you weren't allowed to do as a kid. Were you allowed to wear lipstick to school? HUH? Bet you weren't. Bet. You. Weren't.

Hannah, I manage to not use coupons even when they are right there in my wallet--TOUCHING my cash. That takes a lot of talent. Especially when you buy something especially because you have a coupon.

Tia, Thanks for coming out. Er... as for the cereal... that's a sensitive subject. I'm going to have to write about that one tomorrow.

Sarah said...

yeah i've been around here before, but i just wanted to say that last picture is AWESOME. and i now have dashboard confessional in my head, so thanks :p

accidentallygraceful said...

I'm pretty sure I've commented, but there's a good chance I may not have.

Not only did I not watch 90210 as a kid, when Jason Priestly and Luke Perry broke out color war at my camp in 1991, I got slapped for not knowing who they were by some screaming excited girl.

It was awesome.

little erin said...

hahah! great post. i'm not a lurker. i do read all your posts, i just comment sparingly. (*i'm sorry, please don't hate me for it!)
i would LOVE a grilled cheese!!!

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

ITS ME I'M HERE!

Ashley said...

I wasn't allowed to watch 90210 either. Or Party of Five, or Melrose Place. No soap operas either. It was a sad time.

MsDarkstar said...

Hi, I'm MsDarkstar and I'm probably a good decade or more older than most of your readers. I didn't watch 90210 because I had no TV for many of the years it was on and the couple episodes I did watch I was totally lost as I had no idea who the people were.

But I wasn't allowed to watch Saturday Night Live growing up and that really hurt my "coolness"...

I THINK I found you from No Ordinary Rollercoaster...

Elizabeth said...

I'm terrible about commenting, but I do read!

My mom would never let me watch it either, but I convinced the babysitter otherwise!

Julianne said...

I was allowed to watch 90210 and even had the Luke Perry nightgown. I stayed at my Grandma's house after school, but she wouldn't let me watch Ricki Lake because it was trashy. Instead, we watched Guiding Light and Court Tv.

bigskygirl said...

hello you gorgeous thing. i know we're all twitter/20sb friends and whatnot, but i do kinda lurky-lurk on the blog, sorry bout that. but just know that i think you are HIGH-LAY-RE-OUS and i heart you a bunch!

bigskygirl said...

oh and also, you are deprived. i shall dig up my old Luke Perry night shirt and send it to you. perhaps he will pop out of it and make out with you while the fiancee is asleep?

Erin W said...

I would love a grilled cheese, and I prefer white wine.
I was a bit too young to watch 90210... I wasn't even allowed to watch The Simpsons!

andrea said...

I was too young to care about 90210 (NOT that those who do are old, just sayin'). However, the entire channel of MTV was banned in my parents house. Of course, all the kids in school wanted to talk about was the Real World. Blah.

bFlat said...

You are such a popular lady!

I don't know if I really count as delurking since I comment randomly, but howdy non-the-less.

sleepyjane said...

I'm not a lurker...well sometimes I lurk.

I always read even though I don't always comment.

Ben said...

I prefer to lurk outside bedroom windows rather than blogs. But maybe that's just me.

Mermanda said...

Sarah, everyone should have at least one good pictures of themselves looking like a thundercat.

Accidentallygraceful, I am so intrigued by your blogging handle. Tell me how I too can be graceful... even if unintentionally. Because I walk into a lot of walls, furniture, door knobs... these bruises are rather unsightly. Also, I would slap you for not knowing some things... 90210 isn't one of them. Now if you claimed Velveeta was the best boxed mac and cheese, I would slap you for not knowing it is actually Kraft Deluxe. The blue box, okay?

Little Erin, I would never hate you. I too read many a blog each day and comment on only a few here and there. Sometimes you just need to take it all in quietly.

Chelsea, OH HOW NICE! THANK YOU FOR JOINING US!

Ashley, My mom also made me watch Guiding Light (and by "made" I mean wouldn't let me change the channel to Nickelodeon.) And that show was totally weird. This character Reva has died like 83 times and you really should only be able to come back from falling off a cliff into the ocean a maximum of one time in your life. That should be a rule. Also, something valuable I learned from that show is to be really careful if you have a clone. Some messed up shit can happen fast.

MsDarkstar, You should probably get all the seasons of SNL that you missed on DVD and reclaim your freedom. I bet it will really lift a lot of weight from your shoulders.

Elizabeth, I rarely had a babysitter as a kid because my parents had/have no social lives. But in the rare event that we did have the girl down the street watch me and my sister for the evening, I was usually locked in my room while she talked to boys on the phone in the living room. Okay, that might not be true but that's how I remember it going down.

Julianne, so you totally get what I was just saying about Reva, don't you? I got fed up with her little stunts. I wonder if she is still around? The plots of those shows move so slowly I wouldn't be surprised if the same stuff that was percolating in 1998 is still happening in the new episodes. Wait. Is Guiding Light even still on? ::quick google search:: "Guiding Light is currently in its final season on CBS, as the network announced on April 1, 2009 that, due to low ratings, the series was not renewed, but was being canceled. The final episode is scheduled to air on CBS on September 18, 2009." WOW! Poor Reva.

bigskygirl, I am ashamed to admit that I had to sound out "HIGH-LAY-RE-OUS" one syllable at a time to uncover the" hidden" message. I get it now. And I thank you for the compliment!

Erin, My mom didn't like us to watch The Simpsons but when she wasn't home my dad would let us watch it. It's hard to believe that show is still on. It stopped being funny about ten years ago.

Andrea, I felt like such a badass when I would sneak to the basement and watch The Real World. I thought those people lived such exciting lives. But now I know that they are just annoying sluts.

bflat, howdy back at ya, girl. Yeeeee-haw.

sleepyjane, I am guilty of the same crime. XO

Ben, it is people like you who make me nervous to change into my pjs with my blinds open. Why not just close blinds, you ask? Because THAT is too much work. Enjoy the peep show.

Doniree said...

Hi! So I'm not a delurker, but I think it's been awhile since I've commented though I'm still reading.

And no, I was not allowed to watch 90210. Or Melrose Place. But my sister and I used to sneak downstairs and watch Melrose Place anyway.

You're pretty freaking adorable, you know that right?

Kim said...

At my dad's house, where I lived, I wasn't even allowed to watch The Simpsons.
At my mom's I could watch whatever. MTV's Undressed was quite the education.

shaz said...

Yup...I lurk. I LOVED (and still do) 90210. I think I have seen every episode....I don't know...10 times at least!
Love your blog. Everytime I see your pic...I exclaim "She is as cute as a button!". I also say the same about my Cat Gracie. Coincidence? I just don't know.
Enjoy those wedding plans!

Sara McGinness said...

You are not kidding about the fun that you are having replying to all the comments, I am having fun reading them. I always love these delurking posts...you never know who you will find. I think you are too funny. I also forget coupons, I don't remember if I was allowed to or not about 90210 but I have to agree with another commenter that I preferred the Wonder Years. Give me a dorky comedy over the popular kids anyday.

Lauren said...

DELURKING! Bet you didn't know I read your blog! I hope you don't mind, but I may steal this idea. I'll give you credit, of course.

Also, I wasn't allowed to watch 90210 either. OR Melrose Place. Did you see that they're making a new version of it? Yeesh.

Mel said...

I've left several comments, so I'm not a lurker. But this was such quirky post! In a good way, of course!

Also that's so funny you mentioned 90210 and Luke Perry b/c I was just thinking about writing a post about him. I have a Luke Perry doll. That's how much I loved him. I was obsessed with that show - my parents let me watch that show!

Maxie said...

You know everything there is to know about me. What else can I say.

oh, i love you.

that's all.

instatick said...

My mother wouldn't let me watch 90210 either. But then I moved in with my dad and I could watch whatever I wanted. Also, my mother, being somewhat batshit insane, wouldn't let me watch Saved by the Bell (because it was for high schoolers!) or the Smurfs (because those blue bastards were sexist!).

Mermanda said...

Doniree, Adorable? Pssssha! Ok... maybe a little....

Shaz, I do not at all mind sharing that compliment with your cat. In fact, I'm honored.

Sara, I too enjoyed the Wonder Years... but Boy Meets World was another kind of "Savage Love." HAH! Get it?!

Lauren, YOU READ THIS BLOG!? GASP! I had no idea. XO That circus print is so cool!

Mel, uh. I had a Steve Urkel doll. It talked when you pulled the string. It was a gift. And I pretty much hated it. Especially when it snorted.

Maxie, You are my sunshine.

Inastick, I loooooved me some Saved By the Bell. Watched like three episodes a day. I get really sad when people tell me they weren't allowed to watch that show. You aren't the first. Poor kid.

lbn said...

i don't know what i would do without your blog - or without the 90210 of my youth. i'm sorry i've been absent but it's been quite the summer. once camp ends (two weeks!) i'll be back for sure :)

Nathan's Author said...

Hey,

I'm not really a lurker. I actually just saw your blog for the first time today. How fitting that there's this delurking post linked to today's post just inviting me to meet you. Almost as fitting as if I had logged onto your blog on the actual day that you posted it.

I'm Junior. I'm new to blogosphere (or actually just reunited with her), and I stumbled upon your blog while searching for some good slice-of-life blogs to follow. I watched a lot of 90210 in the 90s because my older sister always had control of the clicker, and that's what she wanted to watch.

It's nice to meet you. I look forward to future entries.

sarah marie p said...

"sometimes i look like a creature" --- heeee! you so cute!