Wednesday, May 27, 2009

(Fanny Pack) Model Citizen

On a recent trip to Target, I found myself face to face with a very tough decision. To buy a fanny pack or not to buy a fanny pack?

"I neeeeeeeed this!" I proclaimed loudly to no one in particular. (Does anyone really need a fanny pack? Yes.)

Andrew caught on to my shenanigans and swiftly launched his anti-fanny pack campaign.

"You aren't a hipster," he said firmly.

"But how good would this look at karaoke tonight? I could be like Starr!"

"No one should want to be like Starr," Andrew continued his fanny pack hatin'.

By this time the fanny pack was firmly secured to my waist and I was meandering through the store contemplating if I should purchase the $12.99 beauty.



"I just can't see myself paying money for a fanny pack..." I said with palpable disappointment.

[LIGHT BULB]

"Wait, maybe I could just walk out of here with this thing around my waist and no one would be the wiser? I've never stolen anything in my life, but this might be a good time to start," I said only half-jokingly.

It was then that some faceless vigilante must have overheard my evil plot, because not more than a minute later, an official Target security guard was hot on my trail.

Realizing my brilliant plan was crumbling beneath my feet, I turned to the security guard and pointed to the fanny pack, still securely around my waist.

"Should I buy this? I'm torn," I asked him--as though he had been my best friend since fourth grade.

He raised his eyebrows and said with much authority, "You absolutely should not buy that."

That gave me a laugh--and I unclasped it from my waist. I then whispered to Andrew, "Does that mean I should steal it?"

Epilogue:
I did not steal the fanny pack--damn me and my integrity. I did, however, just add said fanny pack to our Target wedding registry. Yesssssssssssssss.

(Special thanks to my new bloggy bud Mel for inspiring this post.)

19 comments:

Jessica said...

i claim buying the fanny pack for this little fiend.

i completely support you having a fanny pack. i own one, but only 'cause they are very practical when traveling around europe and trying to avoid being robbed. TELL MEAN ANDREW THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GET ROBBED AND YOU LIVE IN THE GHETTO!!!!!!

Sarah said...

There's a Coach outlet across from where I work and I popped in there with a co-worker last week and we found COACH FANNY-PACKS. I almost wanted to buy one! But I didn't...

Mel said...

Ah, thanks for the shout out! And great story...

Why didn't he want you to buy it? How confusing...? Maybe he wanted it for himself.

Hillary said...

have I told you my fanny pack story??

hmm ... maybe I should keep it for a blog post.

Mermanda said...

Hillary, I love it. Fanny pack posts begets fanny pack posts. It's the circle of life.

Lauren said...

Now, you know I think you're fantastic and all..but I just can't get behind the fanny pack. I'm with the security guard on this one. :)

Lacey Bean said...

Oh god that's too funny. And sorry, but fanny packs are never ok. Not even if they're gucci. Didnt Jessica @ Every Day Adventures just write about this? Haha.

Love that you added it to your registry though.. hope someone buys it for you!

katie scarlett said...

i have a fanny pack on the puerto rican flag, amiga.

Sarah said...

i was about to say there's no way in hell you should buy a fanny pack, but it is kinda cute...

Tattooed Dorothy said...

The fact that you asked the security guard if you should buy the pack of fannies is funny.

The fact that you added the pack of fannies to your wedding registry is hilarious. HILARIOUS!

Sophia said...

bahaha I can't believe you have a fanny pack on your wedding registry! I'll bet it's one of the first things bought, but if for some reason it isn't, try goodwill if you don't want to pay that much for one!

Angela said...

Go to the Goodwill! I'm sure they have a $2 fannypack. Although, I still don't condone it...

Tam said...

Sarah - OMG you said COACH OUTLET! *swoon*

Since when are fanny packs back in? Did I miss something?

stealthnerd said...

Dude, you should have stolen it then--he practically TOLD you to!!

*But if it makes you feel better, I wouldn't have been able to take it either.

Katelin said...

haha i love that you added it to your registry, amazing.

Rae said...

Ha! I <3 you.

(Also, it is my firm belief that fanny packs are hideous. No matter the print, you hear me??! ^^)

mieletcannelle said...

Fanny Packs. So funny. So rude. SO damn handy yo. Where else are you going to stash the other things you steal?

Sarah said...

guuuurl you are too funny! seriously thanks for that

Maxie said...

I always want to steal stuff from target!!! Okay, yesterday I was trying on this hideous dress, but the slip was super cute that came with it. I wanted to leave it on SO bad, but my mom was with me and she wouldn't approve. Damn parents.