Friday, December 12, 2008

Harboring a fugitive creature

About a month ago I was kept awake late at night by the scurrying and scratching of a creature in our attic. I contacted our landlord and told him something--something possibly quite large, from the sounds of it--had made a home above our bedroom.

Our landlord wasted no time, cautiously exploring the attic for the suspect. He found the place where he assumed the critter had made his entrance, and sealed it up. There was no trace of any animals, so he assumed it had exited the way it entered.

Fast forward to yesterday evening. I went to the bathroom to primp for our engagement celebration dinner with Andrew's family. Upon entering the bathroom, I noticed something peculiar. Our shower items (shaving cream, razors, face wash, etc.) had been knocked from the window sill and side of the tub. Everything was laying in a pile in the middle of the bathtub.

"What did you do in here?" I yelled to Andrew.

When he had no idea what I was talking about, I screamed, "We have poltergeists!"

Andrew came in to survey the scene.

That's when we noticed the paw prints. Black dirty prints, about the size of squirrel's paw, were on the sides of the tub. "Uh... oh.... We have a CREATURE!!!"

"I hope it didn't lick my soap!" I cried.

"I bet it did..." Andrew said certainly.

I called the landlord and told him the creature had returned, and this time, it means business. He said he'd come check things out the next day, and set some traps.

Well, people. Let me tell you about this morning. As I was collecting our recyclables to take to the curb, I heard violent clawing at the basement door. There was also some audible screeching. Of course, when I heard this, I did what any sane person would do. I screamed bloody murder and ran far away from the door to the basement.

I quickly dialed my landlord and told him of the creature's location.

"Well, at least we know where it is," he said. "I'll call a guy and get him to trap it today, and maybe set a few more traps, just in case."

"Okay," I said. "Be careful. It sounds really BIG."

"It's probably just a squirrel. They always sound big," he said.


Rachel said...

Look at you worrying about a squirrel licking your soap. Try living with a Boxer. You stand there holding a screwdriver and a Barbie saying "These are the ONLY things not licked in my house..."


"Okay, this Barbie is the only...."

Kyla Bea said...

This is worse than the No Guts No Glory poltergeist stories around Halloween! What if you need to go to the bathroom at night and it's in your bathroom?!

I hope he vacates the premises immediately!

Renee said...

You should tame him and teach him tricks. Instead of licking your soap, he could... make you hot chocolate!

Anonymous said...

hahaha, That picture made me laugh. I had a mouse in my apartment and I named him Herburt and then my roommate called the exterminator.

Poor Herburt....

Anonymous said...

saw your tweet! you have to live with devil squirrel until monday?!

Ben said...

I haaaaaate the scary black squirrels the size of cats in Ontario. Over on the east coast we have the cute little brown ones.

My word verification is one letter away from inappropriate: incyst

Hillary said...

I'm not lying, my word verification is "terisms" (which is a pretty good description of how I felt while reading your post.)

Ahhh! I typed my word ver in wrong so I got a new one - "proratt"
I can't make this shit up.

Though your post caused me terisms, I am still proratt.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I would try to capture the squirrel and make him my pet. They're so cute!

..accept the one in that picture. It looks like some weird hybrid between a squirrel and a bunny.

Unknown said...

If its a squirrel its coming to get revenge for you telling the world they bark! lol

Anonymous said...

I love that your first thought was "I hope it didn't lick my soap!" hehe that made me laugh!

Anonymous said...

OMG. I would be freaking out! I'm so sorry you have to wait until Monday..that really sucks!

sarah marie p said...

Whoa! That little creature just wanted to take a bath! I wonder if he shaved his legs? hahaha. Man, that sounds really creepy!

I hope the pest guys/gals can get devil squirrel outta your casa ASAP (and hopefully without killing the lil bugger!)

Rae // theNotice said...

But I like squirrels... they're cute! And they move like advanced little fuzzy robots!

Then again, our neighbourhood squirrels are tiny, brown, and very unobtrusive.

Maxie said...

We had something in our wall once, but my huge cat scared it away. I can loan him out if you need a protector! He's 16 lbs :-)

Kerri W. said...

Okay, so the fact that your first concern was whether or not it had licked your soap makes me want to hug you. Hahahaha! You are seriously too funny...

Good luck with the fugitive creature! At least it's not a possum. Because those things are the devil.

Lauren said...

Bahaha - i'd like to think there is a devil squirrel. He's running around, tapping his fingers together, wondering what other things he can do to annoy you.

On second thought...I hope it's not that.

3carnations said...

Oh my gosh, a squirrel was in your tub. Wow.