Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm feeling very bloggy today OR What does George Washington have in common with a hippo?

Andrew's teeth resemble the color of wood, at least according to him. I think they are more like... alabaster*.

Anyhow, despite his complaints of George Washington teeth** he has not been to the dentist for years. Mind you, he's had dental insurance since June when he started his new job.

This weekend, he was complaining about something on the side of his tooth. Remembering I had purchased a dental pick about a year ago, he ransacked the house looking for it while I was out. Unable to find it, he asked me where I kept it so he could take care of his tooth. I said something along the lines of, "No way in hell! That is so gross! You CAN'T use my pick! EW! No! No! NOOOO! Go to the dentist****!"

So, after procrastinating for about four months, he finally broke down and called to schedule an appointment with a dentist whom was recommended to him. Turns out the practice doesn't take his insurance. Desperate for a way to unwood his teeth, he called my dentist--whom I may or may not loathe*****. The receptionist was very nice to him, and scheduled him for next Monday. When he told me this, I replied (via gchat):

Tell the dentist he hates your girlfriend. He always says mean things to me like "Unfortunately, I think you are going to live." ...Which just made me crack up laughing for some reason... I guess it IS funny after all!

*Just kidding! His teeth are really nice. See?!

**Actually, I heard that is a myth. George Washington didn't have wooden dentures. They were actually carved from the finest hippopotamus ivory and gold***. Now tell me, where did George's dentist come across a hippopotamus?

***George Washington was the first and only American President to sport a grill.

****He couldn't think of this on his own because he has a really tiny brain.

*****I don't like anyone who tries to convince me it is a good idea to take a laser to my face.


Anonymous said...

i have such a conflict. i HATE the dentist, but my stomach turns at just the thought of a tooth chipping, cracking or just plain old falling out...

excuse me while I *gag* I can't even type about it. ugh i wonder if there is a name for my paranoia.

Glad he finally made an appointment!! I also would not like anyone suggested a laser and my face meet.

Klick Here said...

I think it's documented somewhere, probably mostly on blogs, that dentists are the devil.

It's true. Look it up.

Anonymous said...

Oy. This makes me laugh AND reminds me that I need to go to the dentist!

Lauren said...

I'm going to the dentist on thursday. He better tell me that I live! I don't want to go mid-tooth cleaning! :P

sarah marie p said...

Poor Johnny is so scared of the dentist -- he hadn't been in five years -- so I finally made an appointment for him! I'm such a good little wife. ha.