Monday, September 22, 2008

Squirrels, panhandlers, and Swell Season

Dear Squirrel on Telephone Pole,

Why must you bark at me every morning? Is it because I took a handful of your acorns home with me Friday to put to use in my fall crafting? Please. Just stop. Also, I'm pretty sure you have rabies or something.

Love,
Woman That You've Barked at Two Workdays In A Row

P.S. Why do squirrels have vocal chords? It seems superfluous.


Dear Panhandlers,

The pearls are fake. I'm pretty sure my grandma got them free with some perfume purchase or something. No, I don't have any spare change.

Best Regards,
Why Are There So Many Homeless People On This Block?





Dear Glen and Marketa,

Words cannot express how beautiful your show was last night. I'm so thankful that I got a chance to see The Swell Season perform in Pittsburgh. I only found out about the concert last week. I probably would have sulked for months had I realized I missed my chance to hear "Falling Slowly" -- one of the few songs that can move me to tears. Was it unreasonable that I wanted you to play that song twice? I don't think so. After all, you play it roughly 39 times in your Oscar-winning film, Once.

Oh, and Marketa? "If You Want Me" took my breath away. Damn.

XOXO,
Mermanda

P.S. If it is true that you are dating in real life, my heart will explode. Because that would almost be as sweet as Gosling and McAdams.

9 comments:

Paula said...

Squirrels BARK??? This is news to me. I see squirrels all the time on my way to work, wish one would bark at me. Is it not actually quite cute???

Jossie said...

I have yet to hear one of the many squirrels that loaf in the tree outside my house bark...after your post I may be forced to provoke them.
J

P.S.
Your playlist is awesome, you and I might just be musical twin souls.

Lauren said...

STILL ENVIOUS!

I'm so glad that the show was terrific. Tell Glen that i'll have his babies (if he's not dating her, of course)

jessica maria said...

Would have loved to see Glen & Marketa. Last I heard, they were very much dating, but keeping it on the low because of their age difference (and the fact that she was still in high school in the Czech Rep when they started seeing each other???) But that's beside the point: they make awesome music.

Jamie said...

I have a bone to pick with squirrels too.

Please stop parading in front of my house and making my dogs go insane or I will let them lose on your ass.

Angela said...

small animals make big noises and it's a bitch. There used to be a tiny lil kingbird at my parents' place that would wake us all up at 4 am. lame. I think he's dead now.

sleepyjane said...

I also didn't know that squirrels bark. That is strange. :)

Mermanda said...

Paula, it can be cute if you do not suspect the squirrel is plotting your death.

Jossie, Let me know how it goes. I am curious how one would provoke a squirrel.

Lauren, my research reveals they are in fact dating. An 18 year age difference. Holy cow. I don't care. It's hot.

Jessica Maria, you should definitely go see them if you get the chance.

Jamie, maybe your dogs will challenge them to a barking contest? That could be fun.

Angela, Well that's good... I guess...

SleepyJane, Agreed. I hope you hear it for yourself one day. Everyone should at least once.

sarah marie p said...

Yeah, I'm not sure if I was familiar with the squirrel bark either -- but apparently you have a special video treat for us -- could it be a barking squirrel?! I must go find out and see! Sounds like that squirrel wants to be your friend! I think he has a crush on you! haha. I'm glad you had such a good time at the concert! Yay! Dang, I really must see that movie now. Sounds like I'm really missing out!