Monday, July 14, 2008

Secrets

The tearful toasts by the groom's brother and the bride's father left the wedding guests feeling warm and squishy inside. We were about to start eating our salads when the bride requested a microphone.

"Hey, I know everyone is hungry, so I'm going to keep this short," she said. "There's some big news that Alan and I have been waiting to tell you all." (Pause for dramatic effect.)

Meanwhile, the guests are stirring. What is this? Thoughts of babies are running through our minds. Was this a shotgun wedding?

"Look at you! You're all going crazy! I love it!" the bride said followed by an evil cackle.

"We've actually been married since October. We had to--or else Alan would have been deported."

Dead silence falls upon the room. Jaws drop. Best friends exclaim, "I hate you!"

Ok, so this wasn't really a big deal. The groom is from Scotland, and he would have been sent back to his homeland had they not gotten married many months ago. I totally understand that. What I don't understand is--who can keep a secret that long? Especially such an awesomely huge one!? Major props to them for their locked lips. Seriously, there's no chance that secret would have lasted 24-hours if I was the bride.

Secrets aside, the wedding was lovely. Outdoor ceremony (it was approximately one million degrees outside). Oh, and I caught the bouquet! I think that means I'm getting married or something. Pics below.



Pre-wedding photo shoot with Boyfriend. Check out his angelic white suit and purple socks! We matched like it was prom.


No wedding is complete without masks of the groom's face. How disturbing is this?


Boyfriend with the bouquet I caught. There were only minor injuries.

11 comments:

Ben said...

Whoa. That's a shocker. At least a pregnancy would've been sort of expected. I really don't know if I'd a) keep the secret b) tell everyone at my wedding.

Morgan said...

You look adorable! BUUUUUT, I have to agree that the groom mask is a bit terrifying. lol

Lauren said...

Oh man! That's quite the secret! I don't know if I could have kept that, either, but good for them.

I love your purple dress, by the way.

Sarah said...

you two look adorable!

Amanda said...

Ben, I hear you on both accounts. Good thing I have no secrets to keep... because that just wouldn't work. (Ok. Confession. I have one secret. Boyfriend's birthday present. It. Is. Killing. Me.)

Morgan, Thanks! I should post the other mask photos... at one point there was a whole gang of "Alans."

Lauren, Thank you! I adore purple. I get to wear the dress again in a month for yet another summer wedding. Woot!

Sarah, you have no idea how long it took the boyfriend to assemble his outfit. The white suit, three different ties, a pocket square, white shoes, white belt, purple socks, and one trip to the tailor later, and he's fab. I guess it was worth all the blood, sweat, and tears.

Clarity Sage said...

You're boyfriend has a good sense of style. Not too many guys can pull off a white suit let alone with purple socks.

You look very lovely as well.

Although I didn't say your boyfriend looked "lovely" so that sentence didn't make any sense.

Jenn said...

What a secret! I wouldn't be able to keep it. I really like your dress!

larry said...

that's not that wild a secret, amanda...I was sort of expecting a "mystery gender" thing or something...or that one of them was already married to nikki hilton or something.

sleepyjane said...

Jeez, I agree! How do you keep a secret that long!? Wow. I'd never have lasted.

lfar said...

Oh I LOVE your dress! And very nice on the matching!

Amanda said...

Clarity Sage, Thanks. I'll be sure to pass the complement on to Boyfriend.

Jenn, I can keep other people's secrets way better than my own. I guess that's why I have a blog. I like to blab about myself. (And thanks!)

Larry, they both were actually already married to Nikki Hilton... oddly enough.

Sleepy Jane, you said it, lady. No secret weddings in my future.

Lisa, Thank you! Macys. 20 percent off shopping pass. Life is good.