Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Hairs belong on scalps. ONLY.

My tummy rumbled and I couldn't bear the thought of eating Quiznos again. I mean, I like Quiznos as much as the next person, but I need a little variety here. Desperate for something different, I headed to the new vegan cafe less than a block from my office. Faced with a hot food bar and a salad bar, I had no clue what to choose. I saw no olives on the salad bar--and since olives are really my only motivation for eating salads, I searched the hot food bar for something yummy looking. I have to be honest. The pickings were slim. Everything looked bland. Everything except the curried chick peas and sweet potatoes. Yes, please! The hot food bar is $13 per pound? Um... huh? Ok... well... just give me a few scoops and some rice and send me on my way. Add a juice box. $9. For real? Ok. Here. Thanks.

I headed out to the patio, which has brand new tables with umbrellas. (Not gonna lie. Those umbrellas were my real motivation for trying this vegan joint. Hey, I'm a carnivore.)

I opened the box, ready to put this organic goodness in my mouth. Wait. Where did it go? I swear to you, my $9 gave me about half a cup of curried slop and a few dozen grains of rice. I was all like, "HUH?"

Well, I already paid for it. Now I know to stay away from the $13/pound hot food bar next time, I reasoned with myself. Just eat your meager meal and get on with it. We have library books to return, missy. (Yes, I talk to myself.)

Oh, wait. Oh -- hell no. What is this. A HAIR?! Are you kidding me? I just paid $9 for a spoonful of slop and a freaking hair?

I paused a moment to talk myself out of puking all over the patio. I do not do well with mystery hairs in my food.

I plucked the hair out of the gruel. (Don't ask me why I felt the need to touch it. I was hungry and not thinking clearly.)

Rushing to the trash can, I threw my hairy $9 in the trash and walked away starving and disgusted... sipping on my juice box.


Anonymous said...

omg so nasty!

Lauren said...

Ewww. Hair should never been in food.

Pretty Unfamous said...

BUMMER. Well, now you know you won't be trying that place again.

Anonymous said...

Ew x's infinity.

Mermanda said...

Maria, Um. Yes.

Lauren, I don't even care if I find hair in food I cooked. No hairs. At all. Ever.

Angela, Definitely NOT.

Jenn, infinity AND BEYOND. Can I get a little Toy Story amen up in here?

Anonymous said...

Oh that's disgusting! *shudders*

Krista said...

Ohhh girl, I would've marched back in there and demanded a refund!

Mermanda said...

SleepyJane, word.

Krista, I thought about it. But throwing it in the trash and storming away was somehow more satisfying in my mind.

Anonymous said...

I HATE THAT PLACE. I went in there exactly once, saw the busted-ass salad bar with the ridiculous price, and got the hell out of there (there were no other customers, either).