Thursday, May 29, 2008

When my tongue betrays me

Sometimes when I speak, the words get all mushed up in my mouth and come out in some strange order I hadn't intended. This embarrasses me sometimes. Luckily, I don't take myself too seriously and can often laugh about it, or more commonly, pretend what I said makes perfect sense...

Scene 1. Amanda is ordering Sunday brunch at a French-inspired crepe cafe with boyfriend.

Amanda: "Hi. I'll have a glass of small orange juice."
Boyfriend: "Is that made with tiny oranges? Like kumquat-sized?"

Scene 2. Amanda is talking to her friend on the phone about a coworker who is recovering in the hospital.

Amanda: "She's doing really great. Like 10 times a million better."

I also sometimes lose my train of thought when leaving voice messages at work...

Scene 3. Amanda just dialed a number to reach a respected professional at her place of employment. The call goes to voice mail. Amanda, busy contemplating whether she should call the professional by her first name or Doctor Last Name, is taken by surprise at the sound of the beep.

Amanda: Um... Oh... Hi! FIRST NAME! LAST NAME!

Sheesh. I am so awkward.


Anonymous said...

Hahaha!! So funny! OH man, what bugs though is when my husband catches and repeats what I just said, knowing FULLY what I meant, but refuses to acknowledge it until I re-organize my sentence.

The voicemail thing is hilarious too... oh man. And it's so much pressure to say the right thing on the first shot because any mess up can and will be listened to at least 3 times. h8!

Anonymous said...

I say 'oh man' a lot. Sorry. ha

Lauren said...

The other night I said "emancipation" instead of "emaciated." It. was. awesome. So, I know how you feel!

Anonymous said...

These sound like my daily conversations

Working Girl Two said...

haahaha! that is hilarious. i do that too, only sometimes my words come out slurred and i sound drunk when i'm completely sober. this might be more embarassing now that i think of it!